The Sovereignty Of Your Soul
When I was in my early thirties, I became fascinated by death. I had been travelling for over 12 months by that point, living out of a backpack, sleeping beneath the leaves of a thatched-roof hut on some remote island in Southern Thailand. I had left so much behind—my corporate career, my home, my relationship, my cupboard full of unused clothes, deadlines, expectations, and the concept of time itself.
I felt as though everything I “owned” at that point in my life was contained in a 30L backpack I had appropriately named ‘Turtle.’ And from what I can remember about that time, life had never felt better.
You see, something happens when you detach yourself from most of your material belongings. You approach the kind of freedom I assume only our souls will remember when they choose to leave this Earthly realm.
After all, is anything truly ‘ours’?
Sooner or later, our bodies will return to the Earth Mother, and we leave it all behind—the books, the photographs, the sentimental heirloom passed down from grandma—all of it.
And the soul moves on, to wherever they ought to go, places we will never know, I suppose, until it is our time.
It was this relationship with impermanence that guided me to reflect on the sovereignty of the soul; to reflect on the divine journey that souls make in this lifetime, with or without permission.
Some choose to stay for a lifetime, some choose to stay for a moment. Some gift us with days, some with years. Some make an imprint that changes the direction of our lives, and some remind us what it truly means to be alive.
So if souls come for many reasons, do they not leave for many reasons too?
Are we to know the grander scheme of it all? Perhaps life isn’t merely about eating French fries, feeling the sun on our faces and falling in love a few times. There must be a longer story, mustn’t there?
These were the questions I pondered when my baby left, one sweet day back in 2025, when they decided their journey here was a short one; when they gifted me their love for only a little while and reminded me I was Mother.
It was during that time of deep grief that I wrote this poem. I called it The Sovereignty Of Your Soul, and it was inspired by the grander reasons we journey here, perhaps reasons we may never fully know:
As I sit here in the darkness
Near a dim-lit candlelight
I ponder on your journey
Why you couldn’t stay the night
Though I prayed to keep you closely
Asked the spirits, let her stay
Offered gifts and songs and reverence
Still, you chose to go away
And I wonder about your journey
How you left, to where and why
Did you mean to stay here longer
Or only for a while
Did your presence hold a meaning
A special message I’m yet to know
Were you speaking me a language
Heard in love disguised as sorrow
Was I blinded by my longing
My desire to have my way
Was asking, could you stay here
Like asking the sun to stay
And forgetting in that moment
Dawn and dusk would turn away
And the tides would miss their moonlight
And the birds would sing out of tune
And the sky would lose their stars
And the flowers would lose their bloom
And although you’d still be with me
There is one thing I ought to know
That just like tides and moonlight
There are things we can’t control
So I promise, in our story
While I long to hold you whole
I will love you unconditionally
And trust the sovereignty of your soul
~ Bianca Jade
There will come a time in your life—perhaps that has already happened—when someone you love will leave, and you will ask, why? You will wallow in the depths of unwavering grief, wishing to hold them again, pleading to a higher power to bring them back, if only for a sweet moment. And in these times of great grief, perhaps you may ponder on the sovereignty of their soul, and find solace in the knowing that their journey is grander than we will know.
🤍
“Everything you have ever lost will return in another form” ~ Franz Kafka
🤍
🦋🦋
About me: Bianca Jade ☥ Writer | Priestess of Initiation | Reawakening the divine feminine wisdom that has been forgotten over time. Rites of Passage Ceremony & Life-Force Activation held at The Goddess Temple in Brisbane or online.
Guiding you to live your truth, beloved. 💕🌹🌸
➡️ https://www.biancacaruana.com/